Wednesday 30 July 2008

How 40 broke my brain!

So, stupidly, I resumed smoking in my 39th year, having cut it back to very little in my mid 30s. I dunno why, and frankly, this is no time for recriminations. So back off! I gotta focus here.

Maybe it was because of my deep certainty that there'd be no such behaviour after 40. I think I cleverly reverse wedged myself into going overboard on the toxins in the lead up.

Anyhoo! This is day 3 of being 40, days 3 of not smoking (again) and ..... I'm a moron!! A grumpy moron to boot, so dont gimme any of that chirpy 'life starts at' shit until at least day 7 - e.g when I'm no longer about to yell "#&%$ off" whenever some cute 4 year old comes in, claiming to be my daughter.

Yessir, I can barely string a coherent thought together. Good thing I finished that article on Saturday, before my brain broke. Mind you, doing those footnotes on Monday was painfully slow - like trying to thread a needle drunk, wearing vaseline-smeared goggles, and those crazy anti-masturbation gloves favoured by 19th century nuthouses.

Yes. It was just like that.

Oh yeah, and %$& you, Walter Raleigh. See that Man-o-War closing in off the starboard side?

Ataque!! Dispare em todos os canhões ! Não tome nenhum prisioneiros! Ao fortaleza, marinheiros!!

Ha haaaahahahaa, hahaaa, haaaaaahaaa!

I'll be back.

4 comments:

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Erm, yes. Happy birthday to you. On that other matter, I hear unseemly quantities of chocolate help.

Lefty E said...

Thanks for caring, Baron. And yes, I've been pursuing that line of remedial action.

Am now a fat grumpy moron.

Anonymous said...

I am writing to give you some helpful hints on what to do now that you have reached your fourth decade.

Firstly, you must buy a sports car. A Lamborghini Murciélago LP640 Roadster would be ideal, but, being an academic, may possibly be slightly outside your range of affordability.

But that is why God created the Mazda MX-5. Get a sports jacket, a polo neck jumper, and a scarf to flutter in the wind, and you'll be set. Zoom zoom.

Secondly, you must seduce a young woman. Being a handsome and stylish lecturer, with a nice set of wheels, you should be able to take your pick of the student body (if you'll pardon the double entendre). You get maximum points for seducing someone who has only just reached the legal age of consent in your jurisdiction.

If you put these fine principles into action, the next decade will be the time of your life.

Paulus.

Lefty E said...

That's extremely sound advice Paulus, but pretty sure the Mazzie is also outside the aca budget range. What's next down the list?